All married couple does not have a perfect relationship. Every couple goes through ups and downs. Some overcome the troubles or problems or clash, but some do not. When they cannot end up arguing, fighting, feeling unhappy, with one another, and cant tolerates each other and more. It brings them to the step where separating seems an easy option rather than accepting each other or their faults. The best Psychologists in Nagpur say this is the time when couples need marriage guidance or convinced therapy. Couples counseling is useful when one or both of you is not satisfied with your level of intimacy.” It can be difficult for people to talk about something this particular, but a good therapist can help guide the conversation and should know how to make you both feel more comfortable discussing intimate subject.
What is Marriage Counseling or Marriage guidance?
Marriage counseling or marriage guidance is a type of psychotherapy like any other counseling; however, the only difference is, marriage counseling aims at improving or resolving the conflicts between couples and therefore making their relation better. Marriage counselors talk to couples and help them accept each other and resolve conflicts. But the absolute question is does marriage counseling work? Marriage counseling is often short term. You may need only a few sessions to help you weather a situation. Or you may need marriage counseling for several months, personally if your relationship has greatly deteriorated. As with individual psychotherapy, you typically see a marriage counselor once a week.
How Marriage counseling helps?
Marriage counseling helps the couple to think about their relation build up carefully and it rather than just giving up on it unless that is the only option or that is the option that is better for both. Handle those issues such as communication problems, difficulties in their sexual life, substance abuse issues, anger issues, domestic violence, etc. Marriage counseling, like all other counseling, has to be done by a licensed therapist or marriage counselor who has knowledge in the field of marriage and family counseling.
Who can benefit from marriage counseling?
Most marriages and other relationships aren’t perfect. Any people bring his or her own ideas, values, opinions and personal history into a relationship, and they don’t always match their partner’s. Those differences don’t naturally mean your relationship is bound for conflict. To the contrary, differences can be equivalent — you know the saying about opposites attracting. These differences can also help people accept, respect and understand opposing views and cultures.
But relationships can be tested. Differences or habits that you once found charming may grate on your nerves after time together. Sometimes specific problems, such as an extramarital affair or loss of sexual attraction, trigger problems in a relationship. Other times, there’s a continuous disintegration of communication and caring.
No matter the cause, distress in a relationship can create extreme stress, tension, sadness, worry, fear and other problems. You may hope your relationship difficult just go away on their own. But left to smolder, a bad relationship may only worsen and eventually lead to physical or psychological problems, such as depression. A bad relationship can also create problems on the job and influence other family members or even friendships as people feel compelled to take sides.
Here are common problems that marriage counseling can help you and a spouse or partner cope with:
- Substance abuse
- Physical or mental conditions
- Same-sex relationship issues
- Cultural clashes
- Blended families
- Communication problems
- Sexual difficulties
- Conflicts about child rearing
- Changing roles, such as retirement
How does marriage counseling work?
Marriage counseling commonalty brings couples or partners together for joint therapy sessions. The counselor or therapist helps couples identify and understand the sources of their conflicts and try to resolve them. You and your partner will evaluate both the good and bad parts of your relationship.
Marriage counseling can help you learn skills to crystallize your relationship. These skills may add communicating openly, problem-solving together and discussing differences rationally. In some cases, such as mental illness or substance abuse, your marriage counselor may work with your other health care professionals to provide a complete spectrum of treatment.
Handle your problems with a marriage counselor may not be easy. Sessions may pass in peacefully as you and your partner seethe over perceived wrongs. Or you may bring your fights with you, speaking strongly and arguing during sessions. Both are OK. Your therapist can act as mediator or judge and help you cope with the emotions and turmoil. Your marriage counselor shouldn’t take sides in these debates.
You may find your relationship develop after just a few sessions. On the other hand, you may basically discover that your differences truly are irreconcilable and that it’s best to end your relationship. What if your partners deride to attend marriage counseling sessions? You can go by yourself. It may be more challenging to patch up relationships when only one partner is willing to go to therapy. But you can still help by learning more about your reactions and behavior in the relationship .
Reasons couples usually seek for marriage counseling
A few of the typical reasons that make couples seek for marriage counselor are as follows:
1- When there is a clash about money, the clashes can be on different reasons such as when either one is spending a lot of money rather than saving or when either of the
Couples feel that they are the one who spend more money to buy daily things than the other partner or when partners feel that the other one is sending or invest a lot amount of money to/on their parents and many more.
Married couples try to save money for life after retirement, and when, either one spends too much money from the saved one, or then it creates a clash between them. The clash cans also occur if either one feels inferior due to earning less as compared to their partner. Marriage therapy benefited for covering these problems to make the relationship of the couple smooth.
2- No interest in each other, after seven years or so of marriage couples start to build apart from each other. Although they might live together under the same house, they might do the household together, but they do not have that same flare in their relationship as it was before. They do not have any affection; they are just there in the relationship for the well being married or for kids if they have any. They forget to appreciate each other. Partners might feel that they are not seen by their spouse or are being heard. Marriage counselors work on bringing the same flare and love back into a relationship.
3- Extramarital affairs, if either or both of the partners are having an affair with others and hence cheating on their spouse. Influence by fraud on a spouse is one of the most common reasons that couples face and hence follow marriage counseling. Defrauding does not only mean having physical relationships with others but also if the partner buries things, does not share things also included in defrauding.
Defrauding or extramarital affair can happen due to the reason mentioned above (reason 2) – since there is no intimacy or flare left in their marriage hence partners look for some other place to fulfill their biological needs.
Couples do not commonly come for marriage therapy if they are defrauding on the spouse, but come only when there is a situation where the spouse finds out about the affair the other partner is having, but both even so want to save the relation.
4- Arguments- sometimes couples only try to prove themselves right and do not get their own mistakes. They also do not accept each other’s defect and get frustrated with the other very rapidly; in such a case, marriage counseling is very helpful.
Marriage counseling & Divorce
The job of a marriage counselor is mostly to help the couple solve the fights and conflicts between them. There are few ethical guidelines and problems due to which a marriage counselor will never directly suggest a divorce even if the counselor knows that nothing is left in the marriage.
A marriage counselor helps and suggests ways to cope up with problems and bring understanding and start fresh or new life.